Proving My Love to Special Needs Individuals

One of the first things I had to learn was that even though they had special needs they were loving individuals, in spite of their disposition. They need love and attention just like you and I.. The kids I worked with were so starved for affection that they do not know how to accept it. They would take you attempt to hug them as a threat to them. You are invading their space in their eyes. They soon learned that we show love by hugging. It takes time for them to trust you because they have been disappointed so many times in their short life.


Sometime, individuals were told over and over by the staff that they would keep in touch with them after they left but never did. This caused the individual to think that they were only nice to them because it was their job and they were being paid to pretend they loved them. It was not like the individual had moved and they did not know how to get in touch with them. They were right where they left them.

We had to prove that regardless how bad you acted, whatever you said, or how rude you was to us, we were there for the long haul. We let them know, they would age out of the program and leave before we would.

They soon learned that their behavior or attitudes did not change or alter how we felt about them and that there was not enough money in the world to make us stop loving them.

You could see little by little each day that the attitude was changing until one day it has developed into a beautiful relationship.

Mind you, this did not come over night and it was not easy. There were many trying times, especially, when you know that the person is being obstantic on purpose, just to get a rise out of you. There were times, you had to bite you tongue, walk away or give them permission to let it and get it over with.

Your first thought and reaction is to knock this person to the floor, but that was what a lot of them were used to and was looking for it. So when it did not happen, they did not know what to do or what to say.

One incident, I remember, I was called out of my name. I just looked at them and said, ”You have lost your ever loving mind. When you get it back, come and talk to me.” I calmly walked to my room. 2 1/2 hours later, they came and apologized; explained what had been going on with them in some other area of their life and they just lashed at me because I was there. I explained they did not have to get to that point. They can always come and talk to me about anything regardless day or night.

That was indeed a learning experience to me. It taught me that I had to use restraint while showing them love. I had to prove that their wellbeing was first and far most importance to us. That was a learning experience for both of us. We became best of friends.

All for now. See you on the flip side…….